Following Him

Real life hurts

2012-01-23T14:07:00.003-06:00

“You and Papa really should come to dinner this Friday night”, she said just a week ago, “she needs you”.

The words, “she needs you”, suddenly had only one possible meaning to me.

“Is she pregnant,” I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer to my question. No, God, no, not this, I thought. The silence that followed told me everything I needed to know.

There it was, the truth. The truth I’ve heard far too many times in my life. An often ugly truth that seems to shout, “Your life is over. There is no hope. You’ve gone too far now.”

“You’re pregnant,” the nurse said, to me in 1971, when, as a 19 year old college student, I first heard those, heart stopping, life ending words for the first time. I hope I can still find the father, I thought. After all, I didn’t know him well.
I did find him and just 4 days later I married a man who was 11 years my senior and an almost complete stranger to me and a year later, we were divorced.

But my life didn’t end, it just had a very hard, strange and sad beginning with many more starts and stops until Jesus found me, in 1983, as I was writing out my suicide note and He offered me life instead of death.

“Mom”, my 17 year old said on my birthday in 1989, “I’ve got something to tell you, but I’ll wait till you get home. I don’t want to ruin your day.”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you, baby”, I asked, choking back the tears, somehow knowing in the deepest recesses of my heart what the truth was, even before I asked.

The father of her child left and soon married another young woman. My daughter had her darling baby girl and soon married a man she barely knew, 11 years her senior. They divorced 9 years later.

And her life didn’t end either. Although she’s had many twists and turns and detours, she’s found a new beginning and what we thought was hopeless, wasn’t.

“Nanny, when can I come over this week? I have something I want to talk to you about in person,” this precious, then 18 year old, first born granddaughter asked in 2008, with a trembling voice she was trying desperately to conceal.

“Sweetheart, this can’t really wait, can it? You’re pregnant aren’t you,” I asked.
“Yes, Nanny,” came the dreaded words, “I am, but don’t be sad,” she said.

And although we thought she’d gone too far, she hadn’t and she hasn’t still, even though for months on end now, her life has been one huge- drama, one scary- roller -coaster -ride, one real-life-house- of-horrors.....sin is like that you know, taking you places you had rather not go. But we can’t really ever go too far when He is right beside us through it all. Nothing, after all, can separate us from the love of God.

And now, just days ago, I learned that her 19 year old sister is pregnant.

It doesn’t get any more real than this. It doesn’t hurt any worse than this, this carrying around burdens I carried myself eons ago.

I’m hurting. I’m reeling. I’m almost 60 years old. I’m tired. I’m tired of this same sin ripping apart the lives of the young, vulnerable women in my family, who are really only looking for love, but in all the wrong places and faces.

Let me be completely honest, there are days when I want to throw up my hands and say, "Girls, I'm done! Now you all just figure your lives out and get it all together, but I'm done with this mess. Let me know when you decide to live right and grow up!"

But a few days ago, in the middle of the mess, He showed me that He came to save the LOST, to heal the SICK and to feed the POOR and that for now, this is my ministry. It is my own dearly loved, flesh and blood who need me, and serving them is my privilege and my high calling right now and I need to quit being overwhelmed by it, and learn to embrace it and to walk in it.

That’s it. Just show these precious girls Jesus in all that I do and say, day by day.

Over 2 thousand years ago, another young, unmarried teenage girl was told, by the angel, that she was pregnant with the Son of God and that her relative, even in her old age, was also pregnant, “for nothing is impossible with God.”

Yes, Lord, nothing is impossible with You, may I remember that now, especially now.

Aren’t we all Mary’s in a way, asked only to give birth to Jesus, day by day, in some small way? Aren’t we, as believers, filled to the brim, in our hearts, with the Son of God and asked to carry Him and to give birth to Him in this dark world just a little each day? Aren’t we asked to feed the poor and isn’t it true that soul hunger is just as deadly as body hunger and isn’t Jesus really the only morsel of Bread that can truly satisfy a hungry heart?

And if we don’t give birth to Him, don’t let Him live His Life through us, don’t give Him away to the hungry, aren’t we aborting life, the only True Life there is? Isn’t that the Life we should really protect with all our might?

It is hard though isn’t it, this birthing of Jesus? The labor pains of trials leave stretch marks forever, as our tiny, self-centered hearts are stretched and strained past all human boundaries, but isn’t that the goal, to bust us out of our self-life, to give the Spirit life and breath outside of us, with no restraints whatsoever?

“Hail favored one, the Lord is with thee,” the angel said to Mary, but oh, my friend, the same is true for you and for me. We are favored! He rains down grace on us day in and day out and we can expect Him to supply all that we need in these trials, because, the Lord IS with us and nothing is impossible with Him. Nothing.

Mary humbly responded to the angel’s news by saying, “Behold the bond-slave of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word.” Lord, may I respond in like manner to the news of yet another pregnancy.

Lord, I do not like where my granddaughter’s sin has led her, or her sister, or her mother, or me. But, how foolish I am if I only wallow in this and fret over this and complain about this. No, this is the perfect time to let You do what only You can do in them and in me. So Lord, do more than I ever asked for or imagined, will You? Be with us, favor us, Lord, like You did Mary. Let your divine, unmerited favor rain down on us in the person of Jesus. Let the sight of You, walking towards us in this storm, overwhelm us far more than the storm itself. Lord, may I respond to You, as Mary did, Lord, look at me, I’m poor and pitiful, but I AM your bond-servant, free to go, but choosing to stay with my Master, my All, my very Life. I let go of my plans and dreams now to cling to Yours. May I walk in complete trust in You. I will wait to see You work on our behalf IN this and if I die before I see it, I WILL praise You with my last breath, believing that whether I ever see it or not, You ARE good and You are good ALL the time.

Trying to Gain More

2011-01-10T14:48:00.002-06:00

Do you struggle with believing God, or am I the only one? Surely I am not. Eve, the first in a long line of sisters, doubted what God told her about eating the fruit and doubting God suddenly became the norm for us all.

Isn’t it odd (or is it?) that eating a forbidden food was the first sin? No wonder so many of us struggle with food issues!

For more years than I care to admit to, I have tried to lose weight. But, trying to lose has not worked for me. Trying harder has not worked for me. Trying and failing has certainly not worked for me.

So this year I will seek to gain, rather than to lose.

I will seek to gain more faith. Not more faith in me, for that too would be met with certain failure. Not more faith in a certain diet, although, yes, I am eating according to a plan, Weight Watchers, to be specific.

This year my plan is to believe Him more.

I feel His call deep down where I know, that I know, that I know, that it is He who speaks to me, “Debbie, when will you believe Me?” Now, Lord, now, I answer. Isn’t now all we really have anyway? Just for this second I will choose to believe the great I Am.

After all, He has never failed. His arm is not weak. His memory is not failing. His strength is not impotent. His eye is not dull. His plans are not forgotten. His love is not cold. His Word is not dead.

I am believing Him for my now, for my tomorrow and for my eternity. He has what I need. He is what I need.

But, good intentions will not give me more faith. Daily I am consistently feeding my mind and heart with more of His Word, His Truth. "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of Christ." Romans 10:17 And I am praying to want Him more, to desire Him more, to need Him more. And I believe He not only hears my prayer, but will answer my prayer. “All things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23

If your heart is desiring more of Him this year and if you've struggled and failed to overcome your food issue or your alcohol issue or your whatever it may be issue, then you might enjoy not only this book, "Made to Crave", but you might want to check out the free webcast tonight. Go to www.Madetocrave.org at 8 EST and tune in.

Blessed with more pain

2010-09-24T11:17:00.006-05:00

Where have I been? Recovering from yet another surgery! My last post was July 8th. and the following day, I went to the doctor to ask about a continuing pain in my shoulder. After an MRI, I found myself meeting with a surgeon just one week later on July 16th who told me I had a VERY large tear in my rotator cuff and would need surgery. He happened to have a cancelation on Monday the 19th and so just 11 days after my last post I was in surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff.

Not again!!!!!!!! Not now!!!!!!!!! This wasn't supposed to happen!!!!!!!!

But it did.

It has been rough....very rough. Painful, frustrating, discouraging; downright depressing! Getting older is certainly not for sissies. And boy do I feel old. Between the pain in my shoulder and the pain from daily workouts and PT, crying has been an almost daily thing.

Many fears came with those tears. Fear of getting older. Fear of more health issues. Fear of chronic pain. Fear of being dependant on others. Fear of losing control.

God seemed silent and fear ran rampant in my heart.

One day I cried out saying, "Lord, I am 58 years old, I've walked with you for 27 years, I should have something to stand on here. My faith should be strong, but it isn't. The truth is Lord, I have nothing right now. I honestly don't know how to handle these continuing health issues. I honestly don't know how to handle old age. I honestly don't know how to handle chronic pain. I am coming to You as a little child. I am coming to You empty. I am asking for You to show me how to walk through this place of misery. I am Yours. I surrender. Teach me to glorify You in this."

I quit trying to figure why this was happening and simply and humbly asked for His help, for His wisdom, for His peace. It was in acknowleding my lack that I experienced His abundance.

Empty is where filling takes place. Pain emptied me of the false notion that I was somehow self-sufficienct. Paul says it so well, "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God..." (2 Cor. 3:5)

I know only one thing....apart from Christ I have nothing. How do I get through this? With Jesus. How do I face the future? With Jesus. How do I glorify God in this? With Jesus.

I will not find hope in a healed arm. I will not find hope in more friends. I will not find hope in better health. My hope is in Him, who made the heavens and the earth.

"....and the life I live now, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered Hiself up for me." (Gal. 2:10)

Hanging in there

2010-07-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

Discouragments. Disappointments. Confusion. Frustration.

How do you handle them?

Going to the gym for me was a "God thing". Anyone with eyes can see I am not, nor have I ever been someone who worked out. But I felt called by God to work on my health. And I obeyed. More faithfully than at any other time in my life. To be honest, I could so see the new me. I could so hear me telling others how God had changed my life and my health. I could so feel the health benefits and longed for more.

And how'd that work for me?

For all of my faithful efforts I succeeded in displacing a certain body part which had to surgically be put back and from which I am still recovering. It also brought to light a 20 year old problem with my back that was finally diagnosed as degenerative disc disorder, which will require surgery in the next few years and which has been a source of a lot of pain and sleepless nights.

Frustrated? Mmmhmmm. Discouraged? For sure. Confused? You betcha! My goodness I did what I felt God led me to do and am actually worse off in a lot of respects.

So what will I do next? Quit came to mind...comes to mind...stays in my mind!

But God did not call me to quit. He called me to follow Him in faith. So by faith I will listen and obey. I will trust Him to complete me, knowing that my life in Him is far more than this physical body and that He desires to conform me to Christ, not just to a pair of size 10 jeans.

I ofen wonder, at age 58, and in less than great health, if I can still be used by God. I often wonder if, after all of my failures, He will still allow me to speak for Him, to minister to others, to write for Him. Frankly, as a human, I would say no, time to move on to younger, better equipped ones, more faithful ones than me.

But God.

I love that.....but God. My walk with Him is not about me. It is about Him and for the life of me, I will never understand why He chooses to use His weakest vessels to glorify Himself, but He does. So until He calls me home, I will obey. In sickness and in health, for better or worse, I will continue to believe God.

How do you handle discouragments, disappointments, confusion, and frustrations? Believing in God, in His Word, in His power.

Going Forwards, not Backwards

2010-03-20T13:08:00.008-05:00

Several years ago a dear friend was traveling alone with her young son, from Colorado to Texas and planned to stop over one night for a visit with me. She called around 3:00 in the afternoon to say that she was about 3 hours away and couldn't wait to get to my house, as she was exhausted. I told her she'd arrive right in time for a great meal and we'd have a blast in no time at all.

She called about an hour and half later in tears! After talking to me, she'd turned the wrong way out of the gas station, and actually traveled back the way she'd just come! She was devastated. Exhaustion, hunger and disappointment was hitting her hard. Her mistake cost her dearly and she finally arrived at my house about 6 hours after her first phone call, not the 3 hours she'd originally anticipated.

I've been really struggling with my journey to become complete in Christ. Part of that journey right now, is centered on losing weight, but I cannot reiterate enough that this journey is SO much more about gaining more of Christ, than it is about losing weight. And the weight is coming off WAY too slow to suit me! I'm still hovering around the 20 pound mark. I've been at this for 4 months and frankly expected more weight loss by now. One good bit of news to report, however, is that I've lost over 4 inches in my rear end!! Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Hooray!

Just to lay out my heart to you, I was really wanting to quit my efforts, especially my work outs. Going to the gym was becoming increasingly more difficult. Especially since the workouts are exacerbating several physical issues I have which are causing me a lot of pain. Recenlty one morning, I was crying out to the Lord...... Lord, I am struggling! This is so hard. What happened to my enthusiasm, my resolve, my goals? What can I do to get back on board? How can I continue on without quitting? You've got to speak to me, Lord."

And He did.

That morning I read this in my quiet time, "But this is what I commanded them saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God and you will be My people; and you will walk in all the way which I command you, that it might be well with you.' Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walking in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their own evil hearts and went backwards and not forwards." Jeremiah 7:23-24

Are you as tired of going backwards as I am? Just like my sweet friend who was devastated when she realized she'd gone the wrong way, I too have been devastated at having gone the wrong way in this weight battle, more times than I can count. Perhaps for you it is too much spending, or too much exercise, or too much alcohol, or too much anger, or too much control. What do you constantly struggle with, always going backwards, not forwards?

For me, I'm learning, although very slowly, that going forwards is a matter of listening to and obeying His voice. Simple as that.

This week, I was in a lot of pain and had not exercised in 10 days, due to an out of town trip. I woke up knowing God wanted me to swim. I argued, but then those words came back to me...."if you obey My voice...it will go well with you." I stopped arguing with God, got dressed and went swimming. Truth? It was hard, but it was worth it. Big gain of energy, but my biggest gain was peace, knowing I was going forward with my God, heading in the right direction.

I'm determined to keep going forward, not backward. I'm determined to hear His voice...and obey it. I'm determined to enjoy the "it will go well with you" part of His promise, because the truth is that my way, the backwards way, does NOT work well for me!

Are you broken?

2010-02-04T12:07:00.011-06:00

My mother in law had the most beautiful antique chair. Finely chiseled wood revealed that some long dead artisan carefully crafted this chair for an intended purpose. He obviously loved that chair, and so do I.

There is just one problem....one of the arms is broken, literally hanging on to the body of the chair by a thread. But the break is not obvious if you carefully prop the arm up and it only becomes evident when someone tries to sit on it. It has actually become a "show chair" in our home, tucked away in the corner where it can be seen and admired, but not really used.

And so it was with me last week.

I found myself literally hanging on by a thread spiritually. The brokenness in me clearly revealed I was not properly connected to my Lord. Had I only been propped up, not realizing there was a break deep within? Somewhere in the fray of trying to help my Haitian friends, I moved from faith in Him, to faith in me.

Big mistake!

Working in my own strength I began to reason how I could or could not do things. Exercise? Gone, after all I needed sleep and couldn't afford to get up early. Eating right? Gone, throwing restraint completely out one full day. Stopping to seek God's direction on pressing matters at hand? Gone, there just wasn't time, I had to act NOW!

I had moved away from complete dependence on Him. I had moved away from my only "fully funded" place, where He supplies everything I need for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3) I had moved away from faith, the only place where I can please Him. ( Hebrews 11:6)

I had stopped hearing the voice of the Shepherd, Who leads me into places of power and strength resulting in fruitfulness. And I had started hearing the voice of the thief who drives me into places of frenzied activity and weakness, resulting in barrenness. I had entered the place where apart from Him I can do nothing. (John 15:5)

God loved me and carefully created me to abide in Christ by faith in His Word and to serve my intended purpose. But if a part of me is broken, "not in my proper place", not connected to Christ, then I cannot serve His purpose and I become nothing more than a "show Christian", not at all useful to the Master.

I finally returned to the place of abiding in Him, by believing in Him. The place where I was meant to dwell, remain and to live. The place of fruitfulness where I prove I am His disciple and where I can glorify Him. (John 15:8) The place were all that is wrong in me is properly aligned with all that is right in Him. I returned to the place where I am properly connected to the body of Christ, once again useful to the Master, serving my intended purpose. Not just a decorative object, sitting in a corner, taking up space, like my antique chair. But a useful tool, a functional tool in His hands, connected to the Source of all power.

Are you broken? Are you disconnected? Are you hanging on by a thread spiritually? How do you stay connected to Him? Share your heart with me.

The earthquake, the prayers, the answers

2010-01-30T19:58:00.004-06:00

I'd been really busy all day and had just arrived home. Sitting down at my computer I saw an email from our friend in Haiti....."we are alive, but it is a mess, pray for us."

What is he talking about, I wondered? Then my friend, Debbie Guinn, called to tell me there had been a major earthquake in Haiti.

The quake rocked their physical world, but it also rocked my internal world, my heart. Fear for my friends, fear for a nation and fear for a people I love began to grip my heart. The images on TV were overwhelming. And then emails from various friends began to pour in..... it was a miracle I got out.... I think my arm is broken, but at least I am alive...... We are too afraid to sleep inside, we will sleep on the street tonight...... We have 500 people sleeping in our backyard and another 1500 sleeping on our church grounds.

In the days following the quake, I began to cry out to God, "Oh God, if praying is all I can do, then pray I will, but I am begging You, I am pleading with you, please, oh God, please give me something to DO! Something tangible, something real that I can literally do!"

And He heard my prayers. Does that amaze you, like it does me? The all perfect One, Creator of Heaven and Earth, hears and answers.

Within a few days the daughters of our friends, who are attending high school in Austin, spent the weekend with us here in Dallas. We laughed, we cried, we prayed. God was good to them and to me.

And just 2 days later, I was invited to be part of a team who would work from Texas to help our dear friend help his fellow Haitians with supplies, with teams, with communication, with prayers, with love.

God indeed gave me "something to do"! And I humbly thank Him for this opportunity. Now if all of that isn't enough, there is more .....if you've been following this blog, then you know that I've been on a journey, not just to lose weight, but to become complete in Christ....becoming who He intended me to be in Christ, so that I can serve my destined purpose.

I've known that this journey was not so much about losing weight, as it was about gaining more of Christ. And as I have surrendered to Him in this matter one thing that He has clearly laid before me was to get up every day at 6:30 and go the gym. But it was HARD! Daily I would get up and obey and daily, for about a month, the scales were NOT my friend! But I kept at it...knowing, believing that God was training not just my body, but my heart, training me to serve Him.

And now it is so clear what He was doing! He was preparing me to be ready to start my day earlier than I've started it in a very, very long time, so that I could serve my God by serving Haitians.

That astounds me. It does. I so wanted more than a smaller body. I wanted a bigger heart for God. And as I have obeyed Him, one step at a time, He has changed me and shown me how "to serve my destined purpose".

Thank You, God, for preparing good works ahead of time that I may walk in them. (Eph. 2:10)
Thank You, God, for disciplining (training) me for my good, so that I may share in Your holiness.(Heb. 12:10)
Thank You, God, that discipline, though not joyful at the time, does produce the peaceful fruit of righteousness. (Heb. 12:11)

Replacing old lies with truth

2010-01-15T11:43:00.001-06:00

This is an awesome blog, my friends. I hope it encourages you. I've copied Lysa Terkeurst's blog below, but I'd suggest going to her site and reading her other blogs. This is TRUTH we need!!

http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2010/01/replacing-old-lies-with-truth.html

Replacing old lies with truth

Replacing old lies with truth
If you are visiting today from my Proverbs 31 Encouragement for Today Devotional- welcome! I'm glad you're here.

Yesterday, I was reading an article in Good Housekeeping magazine about weight loss. It was interesting that the writer of this secular article encouraged people to find a way to tie their weight loss journey very closely to their core beliefs and values. And if we do this, we'll have the greatest success.

I have definitely found this to be true.

I have tried to lose weight so many times. When my only goal was to get thinner, it was very easy to give into temptation and justify myself right into a chips and brownies oblivion.

Getting thin wears thin as a motivational factor. I even used my faith as an excuse. When getting thin was my only motivation, I felt good in saying, "You know, it's really kind-of vain to even care what my body looks like. I think it's more Christian to care about the inside not the outside."

And while on some levels this is true, I knew my issues went way beyond just how much I weighed. My weight was an outside indication of an internal struggle. On a spiritual level, I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my lack of control. I would say with my mouth- With God all things are possible! But, I would secretly think, All things except my issues with food.

I was addicted to sugar. I was turning to food more than I was turning to God. I walked around feeling completely defeated. And to some extent, I doubted God could help me with this. Yes, my issues were definately affecting even on a spiritual level.

Sweet sisters, God made us to consume food.

He did not make food to consume us. Like Deuteronomy 2:3 says, “You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."

In order for me to get out of the ruts of defeat with this issue, I had to start filling in the old lies and go to scripts in my mind with truth. Like the article I mentioned above said, I had to tie my weight loss issues to something deeper than physical reasons.

As a Christ-follower, I knew I would need to make this a spiritual and mental makeover just as much as a physical one. Slowly, over time, I learned to consistently let truth be what I told myself instead of turning to the lies that kept me stuck.

Finally, I lost the weight. But even better, I freed my soul from the endless cycles of defeat that kept me from being able to follow God unhindered.

Here are some of these truths that helped set me on the path toward victory.

Old Lie: I need these Oreos. They will fill me up with a Chocolate high and taste so good.

New Truth: The thought that these Oreos will fill me is a lie. They will taste good for just the few minutes it will take to eat them. Then that hollow feeling of guilt will rush in as soon as the chocolate high dissipates. Am I wanting to eat right now because I need nourishment or because I’m feeling empty emotionally or spiritually? If I truly need a snack right now, I am capable of choosing something healthy.

Ephesians 3:17- 19, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Old lie: I am such a failure with this healthy eating thing. Why sacrifice this instant gratification now when I know eventually I’ll just go back to my old habits anyhow.

New Truth: I am not a failure. I am a lavishly loved child of God. Part of my right as a child of God is to operate in a power beyond myself. The Holy Spirit is God’s gift to me so it is possible for me to use the self-control I’ve been given.

1 John 3:1, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

Old lie: God seems so far away and these fries are right around the corner at that drive-thru.

New Truth: These fries don’t love me. And the only thing lasting from them is the cholesterol and cellulite they’ll inevitably create which will just further compound my frustration. God’s love is here in this moment and in many more to come. His love is true and carries with it only positive residual effects.

Psalm 103:17, " But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him.
This is just a start of replacing the lies and justifications with the truths of God’s love."

These are just a start. If you'd like me to send you more Go-To scripts via e-mail, leave a comment below with your e-mail address and I'll send these to you this weekend.

To leave a comment, click on the words "Post a Comment" below and follow the prompts.

May today be the day we all stop circling the mountain of defeat and truly head north!

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Believer in Christ

2010-01-05T19:20:00.003-06:00

I am a believer in Christ. Are you?

If you are what does that mean to you?

To me it means I believe I am a sinner worthy of death, but that while I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me and by faith I believe He saved me from the penalty of death for my sins and that I will live with Him forever in Heaven.

End of story?

For some of us yes...we trust Him for Eternity, but not for today, not for the pain, not for the need, not for the secret little habit, not for the soul crushing doubt, not for the death of the beloved, not for the hopelessness that consumes us like a cancer.

But it really isn't the end of the story.

If I am a believer in Christ, it means that not only can I trust Him with my Eternity, I can trust Him with my Now,
to guide children
to give wisdom about finances
to give me the strength to endure in this battle of the bulge...
no, let's call this what it is....the battle of sin in my life...my sinful love affair with food....
literally I can trust Him for all that I need to live this Christian life.

"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" Romans 8:32

What do you need to believe Him for today? He sees. He hears. He provides. Ask and you will recieve, but ask with faith.

Are you a believer in Christ?

For Him Alone

2010-01-02T12:51:00.002-06:00

A New Year has arrived. It always excites me. Another year unfolds before me and is as yet untouched, unmarred, even like a fresh fallen snow with no tracks, but only the crystals glistening like diamonds in the sun, beckoning one forward into uncharted places.

The last few years, I've been praying a big prayer....for irrevocable, absolute surrender to my Lord. I long to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, so that He can do whatever He wants in me and through me for His glory and my good.

The first time I prayed that prayer, my heart started beating so fast, I thought I might hyperventilate! Fear seemed to be choking me. The enemy loves to paralyze us with thoughts that if we surrender to God and to His will that God will "hurt us" or devastate us. I'll tell you what will devastate you....NOT giving in to God's will and God's ways for your life!

The last 2 years God has taught me, through some very hard trials, the blessed gift of endurance. My faith has grown and I am better for the lessons learned in the heat of the furnaces of affliction. My goal is to let endurance have its perfect work in me (James 1:2-3) so that I may become perfect and complete....becoming who I was intended to be in Christ, so that I might serve my destined purpose. If you've read this blog, that phrase has been repeated often and it ignites a fire in my heart,like none other. And now it seems that God is working out the lessons of endurance in the physical arena.

For 8 weeks now, I've given myself over to His will and ways for eating and exercise. Yes, I've dieted in the past, only to lose and to gain it back, yet never losing the full 80 + pounds I needed to lose. The goal was weight loss and health.

Confession: The goal of looking better and being healthy only carried me so far. It just isn't that much of a motivator for me personally. I needed more. I needed to make this about a spiritual quest..and honestly did try, many times, to eat less in an effort to "deny myself, take up my cross and to follow Him", but that too seemed an uphill battle that I soon quit fighting and gave up on.

This year it seems to be different. And please hear me on this....I say "seems to" with hesitation, even trepidation! Who wants to proclaim something with confidence, only to fail later and regret having made such a boast?! But, the Lord has really pressed on my heart that by saying, "I'm trying or I'm doing my best or I hope"...that I am actually saying, "This may not work, I actually expect to fail and this is my way of making sure I have an excuse for quitting when the time comes." So this time, I find myself saying, "I am going to do this"...the words stick in my throat...but deep in my heart, I know God is doing this, not me, and that He cannot fail if I surrender to Him. Thus the reason for my goal this year..."absolute, irrevocable surrender to His will."

And here's what God is teaching me now....in the past 8 weeks, I've lost 19 pounds. 19 pounds that I'm thrilled are gone!!! I thank Him for EVERY single ounce...no joke! Yes, I'm working out faithfully, eating right and getting my self out of bed at 6:30 in the morning, when I'm used to sleeping in till 8 or 8:30! BUT, it is not me that is doing it, it is God and for that reason, He alone can be praised for those pounds. But I have at least 64 more to go...and it seems like a sheer cliff to climb at times!!!

Here's my latest battle: virtually not one ounce lost in the last 3 weeks, despite faithful workouts and eating right...seriously, no denial here, eating RIGHT!! That has been discouraging to me at times. But, here's what the Lord is teaching me right now....that I am not doing this for weight loss, I'm doing this to "become who I was intended to be in Christ and fulfill my destined purpose" and I am to do what He has laid before me whether I see benefits to me or not, whether I like it or not, whether it makes sense or not.

And something has/is changing in my hard heart....I am doing this for Him alone, by faith alone. And so without one bit of encouragement from the scale...I do this day after day, encouraged by His Spirit, by His word and for sheer love of Him. The Spirit is saying, "Well done", even though the scale is silent. And on I go, living out my goal...absolute, irrevocable surrender.

Over here, over there........

2009-12-17T10:31:00.004-06:00

My granddaughter, Ashley is 17 years old. Not that 17 is old, in fact, she is still my "baby girl". But nevertheless, the United States Marines believes she is not too young and in fact, they think she is the best of the best and she was sworn in to defend our country this week!!!

She is pumped. Actually, pumped does not even come close to describing her feelings right now. I've never seen her so very proud of herself, so determined, so sure this is the right thing for her. In fact, she said she believes this is God's call for her life. I believe that too and I know in my heart that He has called her to this. In fact, if I did not know that, I'm not sure I'd be OK right now.

Ever heard of the "Crucible"? Here are the details:

A Rite of Passage for all Marines
The Crucible is the 54-hour culmination to the transformation of recruit training. It is a physically and mentally challenging event that involves food and sleep deprivation and the completion of various obstacles for the potential Marine to negotiate.
Basic Facts
Recruits will travel 48 miles on foot during the event.
There are 29 problem-solving exercises during the Crucible.
It consists of 36 different stations.
The recruits will have three meals, ready-to-eat (MREs) during the 54 hours.
The recruits will be required to carry 45 pounds during the Crucible, in addition to 782 gear, uniform and M16 A2 service rifle weight.

Can anyone say, "I don't think so?" The Crucible? Are you kidding me? No, they aren't kidding and Ashley is up for it. Did I say I am so proud of her?

Here's how all of this is impacting me on a personal level.....I too am a soldier in the army of Christ. But isn't it easy to forget we are in the His service? Can you imagine Ashley telling her Ranking Officer that she wouldn't be "doing the Crucible", that she decided it was just too much? And yet, do we do that with Christ?

I'm now in my 5th. week of my new lifestyle changes and my great attitude is waining, to put it mildly. I'm tired frankly. Earlier this week, I didn't go swimming like I'd planned. I "decided" the workouts I'd already done were "enough" for the day.

Boy, did the Lord convict me!!! He seemed to quickly remind me that I'm in His service. He put this plan before me, in answer to my cries for help. I had no right to stop without asking His permission. I was very humbled. Quickly, I asked for His forgiveness and set my mind to once again put Him in charge of what I do and when I do it.

Ashley ships out to Basic Training January 25, 2010. She will graduate June 2 on Parris Island in South Carolina. Although she and I are certainly in different "training camps", we are both, nevertheless, in training and I know in my heart I must show up for her graduation June 2nd. and be able to look her in eyes knowing I endured through my training, even on the days I wanted to quit, just like I'm sure she'll do.

....and if we endure, it will have a perfect work in us...making us perfect and complete, lacking in NOTHING!!! Complete: To become who I am supposed to be in Christ, so that I can fulfill my destined purpose. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

Hoorah!!!

Training in Christ

2009-12-13T18:12:00.003-06:00

After working SO hard, week before last, I could hardly wait for some well deserved rest. I'd been sick all week, yet worked out through it all. I imagined myself staying in my jammies and resting all weekend.

Didn't happen.

And I took that so very well, nary a blip on the screen, so to speak.

Not!!!

I was so frustrated when I realized that my plans, key word there is "my" by the way, were not going to be realized, after all I "deserved" it after a week of hard work. I went to God about my irritation and He quickly reminded me of my initial goal in my efforts to lose weight and get healthy. My goal was not to lose weight. My was to be complete in Christ.

James 1:2-4 says that when trials test our faith, it will produce endurance and if we endure the result will be that we will become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But it was the definition of "complete" that captured my heart and mind.

"To become who we were intended to be (in Christ) and serve our destined purpose."

That is what I want with all of my heart, and that is my true goal in all of this physical effort. And last Saturday, as I sat talking to my Lord, He reminded me that I was being trained to become "complete" and that being complete was not just improving my physical self, but my heart, mind and body. He seemed to speak into my heart, "Debbie, your training to be complete is never finished. You will never get a "day off" from training in being complete in Christ. This week you worked on your physical body, this weekend, we will train your heart to deny your self, take up your cross and follow Me."

Training, you see, is for the entire person. For years I've ignored the physical and invested myself in the spiritual, but to be complete in Christ, I must let Him train my entire self.

I spent the weekend. hearing His voice, and obeying His words. I invested myself, not in rest, but in serving others and doing His will, not mine.

God's Provisions

2009-12-04T16:21:00.003-06:00

Today was cold here in Dallas,with snow predicted, although it didn't materialize. I woke up still suffering from my AWFUL cold and knew in my heart of hearts that I did NOT want to get out in this frigid weather and go swimming today. I did not want to fulfill my commitment to the Lord. It was ok, after all, I was sick, not to mention that I'd obeyed all week long, even in spite of being sick. That old familiar voice hissed in my ear, "Go ahead, stay home, you deserve to, after all, you're sick and you've been so good."

I was really battling!!! What do to? What to do? Go? Stay??

I bowed my head and spoke to the Lord, "Lord, for all of my life, my flesh and my feelings have dictated whether or not I would or would not do certain things. My only goal in all of this physical effort is to be complete, becoming who I was intended to be in Christ and to serve my destined purpose for You. I want You to control me, not my flesh. What do You want me to do today? Stay home? Go swimming? It's Your call and I am Your servant."

I still was not clear as to what to do, but I did know He would answer me. I called my friend, Jill to ask her if she was going swimming and to get her opinion about whether or not I should go. Honestly....I wanted someone to give me permission, even an order, to "STAY HOME GIRL!!" But, sweet Jill said she thought going would actually be good for me if we didn't over do it and then she said the magic words..."let me just pick you up, so you don't have to drive." Done! I'm in!!! I knew the Lord had spoken to my heart.

We went. We did good. I actually felt good and was SO proud of myself. But that was not all.

As we pulled up to my door, I began to thank Jill for taking me and going so far out of her way and she told me she was just being obedient. She explained that 2 months ago she was asked to participate in an activity that she'd been involved in for years and it would have been today. At the time she asked the Lord what He'd like for her to do and He said, "Jill, not this time." She admitted that she was confused about why she should say no, but she obeyed the Master. "Debbie", she said, as she looked at me, with her beautiful blue eyes, "Two months ago God knew that you'd need me to help you today and He made sure I was available."

I was awe struck. I couldn't help but think of the Israelites, to whom God provided daily manna from heaven, no less, to give them what they needed. God too had given me what I needed today, to do what He had laid before me AND He prepared for that provision 2 months ago.

Our God is good. Our God can be trusted. Our God is faithful. Our God is the great provider of all things ....even rides to the pool, so that a weak woman, who wanted to quit today, can fulfill what He has asked of her.

What do you need to trust God for today?

2009-12-03T10:25:00.002-06:00

I'm taking a HUGE step of faith right now by telling my deepest thoughts and struggles. To announce, for all the world to see, that I have begun, yet again, to tackle my food issues is very scarey. Let me just stop right here and re-phrase that....my sinful habit of overeating. Let's just tell it like it is, how about that?

Why am I doing this?

Because most anyone who reads this has "issues" of their own. Issues that hurt the heart, holding it in bondage. Because whatever you are a slave to, that is your master and a very cruel one at that. In fact, if any of us were married to our "habit", if it were a real person, it would certainly be labeled an abusive marriage, to say the least! My habit has literally broken my body, not to mention my heart and mind.

I want to be free from the love of food and the condemnation and the continual trying to get a grip, yet failing.

Earlier this year I began to pray "new prayers". Asking God, not to give me new diet, I don't need one, I know them all, backwards and forwards. But I asked Him to give me a new heart. A heart devoted to Him. A heart devoted to loving Him with all of my heart, not food.

I also asked Him to heal me, to deliver me, to save me from myself.

It has taken a long time. In fact, almost 2 years ago,( you can actually read my post in January 2008) God began to teach me about perseverance. I thought at the time of that post, that He would teach that to me as I dieted, yet once again. But, He actually taught me about endurance, perseverance and running the race that is set before me, through some HUGE trials. They are truths I will be eternally grateful for, in fact, soon those retreats will be loaded to my website, www.Followinghim.com, as a new retreat message called, "Enduring Through Trials", which you can listen to in a few weeks, if you like. And now, much to my surprise and delight, He is teaching me to use those truths to endure through my life long temptation to over eat.

I've decided to share this journey on line because I know I am not alone. So many are crying out for freedom, yet are paralyzed to leave their prison behind. I do not pretend to have all of the answers, but I will share what He teaches me each day. This is about a heart change, not a diet. Yes, I'm having positive results, but my goal is not be skinny, my goal is to be conformed to the image of Christ.

Do you want to know what is motivating me? It isn't becoming a size 10, or going on a cruise, or being thin for my 60th. birthday in 2 1/2 years, but it is to be "complete", as described in James 1:2-4. You are going to love the Greek definition of "complete".

Here it is...are you ready?

Complete means to become who you were intended to be in Christ, so you can serve your destined purpose!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CAN be who I was intended me to be. Me!! Even at 57!!! I can become who I was intended to be in Christ. It's not too late. And one facet of who I was intended to be in Christ is the fruit of the Spirit...part of which, is "self-control".

I want that. I want to be complete. I want to be all that I was intended to be.

Do you want to join me? If so, then come on along! We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!!! Yes, we can!!!

This first post is a loooooooonnnnnggg one!!! But, there was much on my heart to share. And below I've included a portion of a journal entry from last year and it really "tells all". Perhaps you will find you are like me and want to be free!

January 23, 2009

I’ve walked in bondage to the love of food for longer than I can remember. I’m obsessed with thoughts of it, desire for it, pleasure from it. I expect it to give me joy, happiness, excitement, comfort, peace, medication and it has not. Instead, my love for it has given me pain, self-hatred, unfulfilled desires, vacillating between craving and loathing.
But I have begun a new path into freedom. I’m propelled into this new realm by the Spirit, Who is promising true joy, fulfillment, peace and satisfaction in God, through Jesus Christ. What I have been craving CAN be found…in Christ and Christ alone. He is my Savior, my Friend, my true Hope.
Lord, I’ve been obsessed with getting enough for as long as I can remember. Enough love, enough security, enough promise and it seems to me that I have sought to fulfill that by trying, yet failing, to find “enough” in food. I can control when I get enough, how I get enough and what is enough. But I have only ended up with less, not more and certainly not enough. Enough is never enough.
My heart yearns for more and now I will seek that in Him, the all perfect One. Today Lord, I begin a journey of faith. Faith that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by You, for Your purposes and Your glory. That you have designed my body to work in a certain way and to look a certain way. You know what I need to eat, when I need to eat and how much I need to eat. You know how much I weigh now and how much I should weigh. You alone can restore my mind and heart and body and give my weary soul rest.
I give You myself and ask that you teach me to seek You for all things. Change my heart to seek You for pleasure and joy and comfort. ONLY You can do that, oh Lord. Another diet, counting calories, counting points, eating “right” foods, as opposed to “wrong” foods will not help me.
I am asking You to do more in me and through me, than I could ever ask for or imagine. I would guess that I have between 100 and 80 pounds to lose. My hips and joints hurt. I am exhausted. I am asking you to bring me to “normal”. May I just not think about food. May it have no place in my life, except for nourishment and occasionally celebration. May You be foremost in my thoughts and desires. May I be obsessed with You! Teach me to eat when I’m hungry and to stop when I’m full. I have no idea what full is, but will You enable me to know it and to embrace it?
I beg You for endurance and may endurance produce maturity.
My spirit knows this is right, that this is my only hope and my last hope. To be joined to You, abiding with You, seeking You to provide for me, is where my peace can be found. Today You have been the song in my heart and I thank you and ask for more!!! I think this quote says it all...

That sinful habit you struggle with daily,

that low-grade addiction that keeps you in the throes of guilt and shame,

that inability to walk with consistency in the things you know please God,

ultimately will only be overcome when your heart, soul, mind, spirit, and will are captivated by the majesty, mercy, splendor, beauty, and magnificence of who God is and what He has and will do for you in Jesus.(Sam Storms, "Pleasures Evermore")

Oh, God, that is my prayer, for my heart, soul, mind, spirit and will to be captivated by who You are and what You have and for me in Christ Jesus. I believe you!!!! I have stepped out in faith. I am filled with hope.

Waiting for Callie Faith

2009-07-11T11:20:00.003-05:00

I'm waiting.....waiting for the birth of my first great granddaughter. Yes, you read correctly, great granddaughter. And lest you think I'm not old enough...I'm NOT!!!! But at 57, despite my own hopes and dreams for my precious 19 year old granddaughter, Sarah, I WILL be a great grandmother soon, as you can tell from this picture of Sarah and her husband, Todd, taken when they visited us in Colorado recently.

Do you want to know my first reaction when I heard the news last December? No!!! No!!!! Not a third generation of a teen aged mom in our family!!!! This was not my plan. This was not my dream. In fact, I'd often thought this would be my worst nightmare. But, God had other plans......

A dear friend called me the next morning, after I'd heard the news from Sarah, to give me hope from God's Word.

2 Chronicles 20:3 "And Jehoshaphat was afraid and turned his attention to seek the Lord..."

2 Chronicles 20:12 "For we are powerless before this great multitude....but our eyes are on Thee."

2 Chronicles 2:15 "..thus the Lord says to you, 'Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's."

2 Chronicles 2:20 "...put your trust in the Lord your God, and you will be established."

Since that moment, about 8months ago, my heart has indeed been established and my eyes have been set on my God. I realized that I am not here on this earth so that my plans and purposes for my children and grandchildren will be realized, but I am here to bring glory to my God and for His plans and purposes to be fully realized. I'm not here to live happily ever after, but to be holy. I'm not here to build my kingdom, but His. I'm not here to seek my way, but His. And I can do that as a wife, as mother, as a grandmother and yes, even as a way-too-young great grandmother!! And glorify Him I will! I fully intend to point them all to the Light, Jesus Christ, and to say, "Hey, guys, the Light is this way...follow me!!"

Any day now another generation will be born in to our family. Callie Faith's life will begin. Oh, Lord may she seek You with all of her heart and mind and soul and may she find You, because nothing else really matters. I am praying that she will be a woman after God's own heart, whose trust is in her God.

Great Retreat in Palacios

2008-01-27T23:09:00.001-06:00

Just returned from speaking at a retreat in Palacios Texas for First United Methodist Church of Lake Jackson, Texas. Seventy women gathered and we had a great time. God poured Himself out and answered my prayers for each woman to leave with life changing truth in her heart. This was the second retreat I've done for this group of women and it was like speaking to a room full of friends. Many women gathered this morning to share what God had done during our 3 days together and 2 women shared how God used the messages this weekend to save their marriages! I was humbled and stunned! Another woman said that she will leave knowing Jesus is in her heart, another said that she'd struggled with something for several months but that God worked in her heart this weekend to convict her, to free her and that she feels like a new person! Other comments were testimony to the fact that God was at work this weekend in big ways.
It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord uses us, His frail vessels, to bring glory to Himself and to accomplish His will in the world. No special talents are required, no degrees preferred, there are no physical requirements to be met, no age restrictions, no auditions will weed the unwanted out, no experience necessary, no past record of perfection required, failures are welcome, in fact, God seems to relish using the rejects of this world to display His glory and to "participate in the divine nature". All He asks is that we are willing, that we surrender and that we trust Him. I long for irrevocable, absolute surrender in my life. That is not my longing only for speaking but for loving, respecting and honoring my husband, loving and serving others....in every area of my life I want His perfect will and for His Spirit to have full access to me. Oh that I would get out of the Lord's way and let Him have His way with me, in me and through me!!! Oh for more of You, Lord and less of me.

God's Provisions

2008-01-13T13:14:00.001-06:00

We had a great Christmas vacation in Colorado with our son, wife and three children! No wonder God gives children to younger people. Whew! I have no idea how my precious daughter in law does it. One 6 year old son and 2 little ones under 18 months old requires nonstop work on her part and she does it all with a smile and joy. Mountains of clothes to wash, food to cook (they are ALWAYS hungry for "bites" as she calls it, which means that our 18 month old grandson shouts, "Bites, now!!!" when he is hungry!), someone always needs a diaper changed or a nose wiped and she stands ready and willing at all times to do what it takes to provide for those children. You should have seen their Suburban loaded down with supplies when they arrived!!! That was hilarious. Toys, clothes, food, diapers, beds, blankets, bottles.....truly amazing. How did they get all of that stuff into that car and still find room for the kids! Those children have never missed a meal, a hug or a been denied one single thing they needed. All the provisions were made in advance to meet any and every need they might have.
God is that way and yet how often I forget. He is my father and has committed Himself to me through His covenant and the blood of Jesus Christ to never leave me or forsake me. He calls Himself my father and as such is guaranteeing me that He will love, protect and provide for me, not just for 18 years, but for eternity. He's covered all the bases and has taken care of all the provisions to "raise me" in Christ. Why then should I fret and worry? How silly it would be for my precious grandchildren to whine, cry and fret in the morning about whether or not they were going to get to eat dinner later that evening! That would be ridiculous. Yet, I do that with my Father, wondering and worrying about how certain things will work out or if there will be provisions for my needs. My Father God has, does and will take care of every single thing for me in Christ, all He has asked of me is that I love Him, trust Him and obey Him.
Oh Lord, may I live by faith. Teach me that all important life lesson. It is impossible to please You without faith. May I live by faith in Your provisions as a good child.

My Son is engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-23T23:11:00.000-06:00

My precious son asked his darling girlfriend to be his wife today......AND he asked her in front of her parents and my husband and me!!! What an amazing joy that was!! God has answered my prayers for a godly wife for my son. What a joy to share this moment and to have this precious woman for our daugther. Welcome to our family, Lainey. I thank God for you.

God is a Walker

2007-12-21T14:28:00.000-06:00

God loves to walk. And not just for exercise either! He walked with Adam and Eve "in the cool of the evening", Genesis 3:8. Just reading those words always makes me want to let out an audible "Ahhhhh....". Imagine walking with God, did they laugh? Did God explain things to them?? Or did they just enjoy each other's company? We'll never know for sure, but we do know this much, sin stopped those walks and hiding from God took the place of walking with God.
But God so loved us, so wanted to be with us, so wanted to walk with us that He sent His one and only Son that whosoever believed in Him might be able to walk with God forever. Jesus was born to take away the sin of the world and to reunite us with our Father, our Creator, the maker and lover of our souls.
Do you walk with God or do you hide from God? When was the last time you spoke to Him first thing in the morning asking Him what He'd like to do in you, through you and with you that day? When was the last time you sought His advice, enjoyed His company, thanked Him for who He is or just cried out in despair to Him?
I've had a dead line on a writing project. With the holidays and with some family issues this deadline has caused me a lot of stress! But while it has caused stress it has also brought me closer to my Lord. Knowing that I cannot accomplish this project in my own strength I have turned to Him in my heart and mind as I talk to Him in prayer constantly. I have not enjoyed the stress but I have enjoyed being closer to Him.
A couple of days ago the deadline was extended. "Yippee!!!", was my first reaction. Joy and enthusiasm were my first feelings yesterday when I awoke. "I have so many things that I can take care of today! I can even visit some family and friends now that I'm not chained to the computer", I thought. And I did have a great day!! But at the end of the day I realized that I'd not walked with my Lord as closely. The reason? I didn't need Him.
Matthew 1:23, "See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name Him Immanuel, which is translated "God is with us". Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birth, Immanuel. God is not content to be with us intermittently, He was to be with us 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He's crazy about us! He "dwells" in us through His Spirit and will never leave us or forsake us. Yet how often do I forsake and leave Him?
Oh, God thank You for the gift of Jesus. Thank You that I can walk with You, dwell with You and enjoy You. Keep my wandering heart knit to Yours.

Becoming an After

2007-12-18T13:53:00.000-06:00

I just saw my friend's pictures...her before picture from a year ago and today's picture!! She's lost about 70 pounds this year and I'm so proud of her. Her secret? Just one day at a time doing the right thing.
I so love the "quick fix"...quick is so much easier than slow! I think that is why so few of us grow in Christ. We want quick and easy, but it is the slow steady growth in faith, day after day, that produces the greatest results.
Most of us have put our faith in Jesus for eternal life and we believe that one day we will breath one last ragged breath and be ferried across the great chasm of death to the other side where this life ends and eternity begins. And we also believe that God will somehow gather the ashes of our bodies, the disintegrated, rotted or non-existent particles of ourselves and from that produce a glorified body like His own.
Yet few of us trust Him and believe in Him for our everyday life. Few of us believe Him during the trials, the confusion, the pain, but we must understand that "without faith it is impossible to please Him." Hebrews 11:6
When I finally appear before Him and see Him face to face I want so badly to be an "after", looking much more like Him than I did before I put my faith in Him. I have to admit that I am at a point in my walk with Him where I am struggling. He is teaching me new things and I'll just say right now that old dogs do not learn new tricks easily! While I do not know what He is doing, why He is doing it or when He will finish this new work in me, I do know Who and how it will get done....God through His Spirit, by faith. And each day that I stick to His path, His way, His will, His truth I will be that much closer to eventually becoming an "after" in Christ.

Marathon Mentality

2007-12-11T15:11:00.001-06:00

Marathon Mentality The Lord is teaching me the value of endurance. I must admit that for most of my life I either quit what I started or more often than not I wouldn't even try believing that failure was certain. For example, in the past if I had more failed days than success days I would just give up the diet altogether. The same held true for my spiritual walk. Once I decided to read the Bible in a year I would give up entirely once I got a few days behind. Giving up when I failed or things became too difficult was so much easier than enduring through the failures and trials. But, according to James 1: 2-4, perfection is obtained not by a lack of failure, but by enduring in spite of the failures. “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Have you made a goal this year, whether spiritually or in another area of your life? Endure, my friend, endure. Stay in the race, stick to it no matter what your failures, no matter what your set backs, no matter what your obstacles, no matter how you feel and this time next year you will be further down the road than you are right now. My son is an athlete, a runner to be specific. He trained most of 2007 for his first marathon. For months he endured rain, cold, heat, humidity, sickness, injuries and in spite of everything he continued to run, never quitting. Two days before the race we were together and as we were discussing the race I said, “David, I hear it is supposed to be really rainy and cold for the race. Are you bummed out?”I will never forget what he said with clear determination, “Mom, I didn’t train for the weather, I trained for the race.” I stared back at him as I pondered that profound truth. In other words, he gave no consideration to the weather, to his comfort, to his health or to any other thing…he had just one goal: run the race and finish the race no matter what. I have determined to run the race God has set before me with endurance and my goal is simple: keep running until I finish the race, until I see His face and until I hear those words, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

Life Interupts

2007-12-10T21:56:00.000-06:00

My life has been interrupted a lot lately. Just when I have all of my plans made....bam, something happens to interrupt them! I'm working on a writing project and so want to continue on and finish it but life keeps getting in the way. With the constant pressure of an unfinished project hanging over my head I easily become discouraged and frustrated. Once I have a goal set I just hate delays.
Today as yet another interruption came my way it occurred to me that I might be interrupting God's plans for me. His plan is for me to be conformed to the image of Christ, for me to walk in the good works that He prepared for me to walk in beforehand and yet how often do I interrupt His grand plans by going on about my life as if it were my own? I wonder how long I've delayed His perfect will in my life?
I want to be mindful, as "life happens", that He is still in control, that He can be trusted and that His plans are far better than my own. I don't want to miss one single thing He has for me.
Oh, Lord, may I have one goal only: to please You in all respects.