My granddaughter, Ashley is 17 years old. Not that 17 is old, in fact, she is still my "baby girl". But nevertheless, the United States Marines believes she is not too young and in fact, they think she is the best of the best and she was sworn in to defend our country this week!!!
She is pumped. Actually, pumped does not even come close to describing her feelings right now. I've never seen her so very proud of herself, so determined, so sure this is the right thing for her. In fact, she said she believes this is God's call for her life. I believe that too and I know in my heart that He has called her to this. In fact, if I did not know that, I'm not sure I'd be OK right now.
Ever heard of the "Crucible"? Here are the details:
A Rite of Passage for all Marines
The Crucible is the 54-hour culmination to the transformation of recruit training. It is a physically and mentally challenging event that involves food and sleep deprivation and the completion of various obstacles for the potential Marine to negotiate.
Basic Facts
Recruits will travel 48 miles on foot during the event.
There are 29 problem-solving exercises during the Crucible.
It consists of 36 different stations.
The recruits will have three meals, ready-to-eat (MREs) during the 54 hours.
The recruits will be required to carry 45 pounds during the Crucible, in addition to 782 gear, uniform and M16 A2 service rifle weight.
Can anyone say, "I don't think so?" The Crucible? Are you kidding me? No, they aren't kidding and Ashley is up for it. Did I say I am so proud of her?
Here's how all of this is impacting me on a personal level.....I too am a soldier in the army of Christ. But isn't it easy to forget we are in the His service? Can you imagine Ashley telling her Ranking Officer that she wouldn't be "doing the Crucible", that she decided it was just too much? And yet, do we do that with Christ?
I'm now in my 5th. week of my new lifestyle changes and my great attitude is waining, to put it mildly. I'm tired frankly. Earlier this week, I didn't go swimming like I'd planned. I "decided" the workouts I'd already done were "enough" for the day.
Boy, did the Lord convict me!!! He seemed to quickly remind me that I'm in His service. He put this plan before me, in answer to my cries for help. I had no right to stop without asking His permission. I was very humbled. Quickly, I asked for His forgiveness and set my mind to once again put Him in charge of what I do and when I do it.
Ashley ships out to Basic Training January 25, 2010. She will graduate June 2 on Parris Island in South Carolina. Although she and I are certainly in different "training camps", we are both, nevertheless, in training and I know in my heart I must show up for her graduation June 2nd. and be able to look her in eyes knowing I endured through my training, even on the days I wanted to quit, just like I'm sure she'll do.
....and if we endure, it will have a perfect work in us...making us perfect and complete, lacking in NOTHING!!! Complete: To become who I am supposed to be in Christ, so that I can fulfill my destined purpose. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!
Hoorah!!!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Training in Christ
After working SO hard, week before last, I could hardly wait for some well deserved rest. I'd been sick all week, yet worked out through it all. I imagined myself staying in my jammies and resting all weekend.
Didn't happen.
And I took that so very well, nary a blip on the screen, so to speak.
Not!!!
I was so frustrated when I realized that my plans, key word there is "my" by the way, were not going to be realized, after all I "deserved" it after a week of hard work. I went to God about my irritation and He quickly reminded me of my initial goal in my efforts to lose weight and get healthy. My goal was not to lose weight. My was to be complete in Christ.
James 1:2-4 says that when trials test our faith, it will produce endurance and if we endure the result will be that we will become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But it was the definition of "complete" that captured my heart and mind.
"To become who we were intended to be (in Christ) and serve our destined purpose."
That is what I want with all of my heart, and that is my true goal in all of this physical effort. And last Saturday, as I sat talking to my Lord, He reminded me that I was being trained to become "complete" and that being complete was not just improving my physical self, but my heart, mind and body. He seemed to speak into my heart, "Debbie, your training to be complete is never finished. You will never get a "day off" from training in being complete in Christ. This week you worked on your physical body, this weekend, we will train your heart to deny your self, take up your cross and follow Me."
Training, you see, is for the entire person. For years I've ignored the physical and invested myself in the spiritual, but to be complete in Christ, I must let Him train my entire self.
I spent the weekend. hearing His voice, and obeying His words. I invested myself, not in rest, but in serving others and doing His will, not mine.
Didn't happen.
And I took that so very well, nary a blip on the screen, so to speak.
Not!!!
I was so frustrated when I realized that my plans, key word there is "my" by the way, were not going to be realized, after all I "deserved" it after a week of hard work. I went to God about my irritation and He quickly reminded me of my initial goal in my efforts to lose weight and get healthy. My goal was not to lose weight. My was to be complete in Christ.
James 1:2-4 says that when trials test our faith, it will produce endurance and if we endure the result will be that we will become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But it was the definition of "complete" that captured my heart and mind.
"To become who we were intended to be (in Christ) and serve our destined purpose."
That is what I want with all of my heart, and that is my true goal in all of this physical effort. And last Saturday, as I sat talking to my Lord, He reminded me that I was being trained to become "complete" and that being complete was not just improving my physical self, but my heart, mind and body. He seemed to speak into my heart, "Debbie, your training to be complete is never finished. You will never get a "day off" from training in being complete in Christ. This week you worked on your physical body, this weekend, we will train your heart to deny your self, take up your cross and follow Me."
Training, you see, is for the entire person. For years I've ignored the physical and invested myself in the spiritual, but to be complete in Christ, I must let Him train my entire self.
I spent the weekend. hearing His voice, and obeying His words. I invested myself, not in rest, but in serving others and doing His will, not mine.
Friday, December 4, 2009
God's Provisions
Today was cold here in Dallas,with snow predicted, although it didn't materialize. I woke up still suffering from my AWFUL cold and knew in my heart of hearts that I did NOT want to get out in this frigid weather and go swimming today. I did not want to fulfill my commitment to the Lord. It was ok, after all, I was sick, not to mention that I'd obeyed all week long, even in spite of being sick. That old familiar voice hissed in my ear, "Go ahead, stay home, you deserve to, after all, you're sick and you've been so good."
I was really battling!!! What do to? What to do? Go? Stay??
I bowed my head and spoke to the Lord, "Lord, for all of my life, my flesh and my feelings have dictated whether or not I would or would not do certain things. My only goal in all of this physical effort is to be complete, becoming who I was intended to be in Christ and to serve my destined purpose for You. I want You to control me, not my flesh. What do You want me to do today? Stay home? Go swimming? It's Your call and I am Your servant."
I still was not clear as to what to do, but I did know He would answer me. I called my friend, Jill to ask her if she was going swimming and to get her opinion about whether or not I should go. Honestly....I wanted someone to give me permission, even an order, to "STAY HOME GIRL!!" But, sweet Jill said she thought going would actually be good for me if we didn't over do it and then she said the magic words..."let me just pick you up, so you don't have to drive." Done! I'm in!!! I knew the Lord had spoken to my heart.
We went. We did good. I actually felt good and was SO proud of myself. But that was not all.
As we pulled up to my door, I began to thank Jill for taking me and going so far out of her way and she told me she was just being obedient. She explained that 2 months ago she was asked to participate in an activity that she'd been involved in for years and it would have been today. At the time she asked the Lord what He'd like for her to do and He said, "Jill, not this time." She admitted that she was confused about why she should say no, but she obeyed the Master. "Debbie", she said, as she looked at me, with her beautiful blue eyes, "Two months ago God knew that you'd need me to help you today and He made sure I was available."
I was awe struck. I couldn't help but think of the Israelites, to whom God provided daily manna from heaven, no less, to give them what they needed. God too had given me what I needed today, to do what He had laid before me AND He prepared for that provision 2 months ago.
Our God is good. Our God can be trusted. Our God is faithful. Our God is the great provider of all things ....even rides to the pool, so that a weak woman, who wanted to quit today, can fulfill what He has asked of her.
What do you need to trust God for today?
I was really battling!!! What do to? What to do? Go? Stay??
I bowed my head and spoke to the Lord, "Lord, for all of my life, my flesh and my feelings have dictated whether or not I would or would not do certain things. My only goal in all of this physical effort is to be complete, becoming who I was intended to be in Christ and to serve my destined purpose for You. I want You to control me, not my flesh. What do You want me to do today? Stay home? Go swimming? It's Your call and I am Your servant."
I still was not clear as to what to do, but I did know He would answer me. I called my friend, Jill to ask her if she was going swimming and to get her opinion about whether or not I should go. Honestly....I wanted someone to give me permission, even an order, to "STAY HOME GIRL!!" But, sweet Jill said she thought going would actually be good for me if we didn't over do it and then she said the magic words..."let me just pick you up, so you don't have to drive." Done! I'm in!!! I knew the Lord had spoken to my heart.
We went. We did good. I actually felt good and was SO proud of myself. But that was not all.
As we pulled up to my door, I began to thank Jill for taking me and going so far out of her way and she told me she was just being obedient. She explained that 2 months ago she was asked to participate in an activity that she'd been involved in for years and it would have been today. At the time she asked the Lord what He'd like for her to do and He said, "Jill, not this time." She admitted that she was confused about why she should say no, but she obeyed the Master. "Debbie", she said, as she looked at me, with her beautiful blue eyes, "Two months ago God knew that you'd need me to help you today and He made sure I was available."
I was awe struck. I couldn't help but think of the Israelites, to whom God provided daily manna from heaven, no less, to give them what they needed. God too had given me what I needed today, to do what He had laid before me AND He prepared for that provision 2 months ago.
Our God is good. Our God can be trusted. Our God is faithful. Our God is the great provider of all things ....even rides to the pool, so that a weak woman, who wanted to quit today, can fulfill what He has asked of her.
What do you need to trust God for today?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I'm taking a HUGE step of faith right now by telling my deepest thoughts and struggles. To announce, for all the world to see, that I have begun, yet again, to tackle my food issues is very scarey. Let me just stop right here and re-phrase that....my sinful habit of overeating. Let's just tell it like it is, how about that?
Why am I doing this?
Because most anyone who reads this has "issues" of their own. Issues that hurt the heart, holding it in bondage. Because whatever you are a slave to, that is your master and a very cruel one at that. In fact, if any of us were married to our "habit", if it were a real person, it would certainly be labeled an abusive marriage, to say the least! My habit has literally broken my body, not to mention my heart and mind.
I want to be free from the love of food and the condemnation and the continual trying to get a grip, yet failing.
Earlier this year I began to pray "new prayers". Asking God, not to give me new diet, I don't need one, I know them all, backwards and forwards. But I asked Him to give me a new heart. A heart devoted to Him. A heart devoted to loving Him with all of my heart, not food.
I also asked Him to heal me, to deliver me, to save me from myself.
It has taken a long time. In fact, almost 2 years ago,( you can actually read my post in January 2008) God began to teach me about perseverance. I thought at the time of that post, that He would teach that to me as I dieted, yet once again. But, He actually taught me about endurance, perseverance and running the race that is set before me, through some HUGE trials. They are truths I will be eternally grateful for, in fact, soon those retreats will be loaded to my website, www.Followinghim.com, as a new retreat message called, "Enduring Through Trials", which you can listen to in a few weeks, if you like. And now, much to my surprise and delight, He is teaching me to use those truths to endure through my life long temptation to over eat.
I've decided to share this journey on line because I know I am not alone. So many are crying out for freedom, yet are paralyzed to leave their prison behind. I do not pretend to have all of the answers, but I will share what He teaches me each day. This is about a heart change, not a diet. Yes, I'm having positive results, but my goal is not be skinny, my goal is to be conformed to the image of Christ.
Do you want to know what is motivating me? It isn't becoming a size 10, or going on a cruise, or being thin for my 60th. birthday in 2 1/2 years, but it is to be "complete", as described in James 1:2-4. You are going to love the Greek definition of "complete".
Here it is...are you ready?
Complete means to become who you were intended to be in Christ, so you can serve your destined purpose!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN be who I was intended me to be. Me!! Even at 57!!! I can become who I was intended to be in Christ. It's not too late. And one facet of who I was intended to be in Christ is the fruit of the Spirit...part of which, is "self-control".
I want that. I want to be complete. I want to be all that I was intended to be.
Do you want to join me? If so, then come on along! We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!!! Yes, we can!!!
This first post is a loooooooonnnnnggg one!!! But, there was much on my heart to share. And below I've included a portion of a journal entry from last year and it really "tells all". Perhaps you will find you are like me and want to be free!
January 23, 2009
I’ve walked in bondage to the love of food for longer than I can remember. I’m obsessed with thoughts of it, desire for it, pleasure from it. I expect it to give me joy, happiness, excitement, comfort, peace, medication and it has not. Instead, my love for it has given me pain, self-hatred, unfulfilled desires, vacillating between craving and loathing.
But I have begun a new path into freedom. I’m propelled into this new realm by the Spirit, Who is promising true joy, fulfillment, peace and satisfaction in God, through Jesus Christ. What I have been craving CAN be found…in Christ and Christ alone. He is my Savior, my Friend, my true Hope.
Lord, I’ve been obsessed with getting enough for as long as I can remember. Enough love, enough security, enough promise and it seems to me that I have sought to fulfill that by trying, yet failing, to find “enough” in food. I can control when I get enough, how I get enough and what is enough. But I have only ended up with less, not more and certainly not enough. Enough is never enough.
My heart yearns for more and now I will seek that in Him, the all perfect One. Today Lord, I begin a journey of faith. Faith that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by You, for Your purposes and Your glory. That you have designed my body to work in a certain way and to look a certain way. You know what I need to eat, when I need to eat and how much I need to eat. You know how much I weigh now and how much I should weigh. You alone can restore my mind and heart and body and give my weary soul rest.
I give You myself and ask that you teach me to seek You for all things. Change my heart to seek You for pleasure and joy and comfort. ONLY You can do that, oh Lord. Another diet, counting calories, counting points, eating “right” foods, as opposed to “wrong” foods will not help me.
I am asking You to do more in me and through me, than I could ever ask for or imagine. I would guess that I have between 100 and 80 pounds to lose. My hips and joints hurt. I am exhausted. I am asking you to bring me to “normal”. May I just not think about food. May it have no place in my life, except for nourishment and occasionally celebration. May You be foremost in my thoughts and desires. May I be obsessed with You! Teach me to eat when I’m hungry and to stop when I’m full. I have no idea what full is, but will You enable me to know it and to embrace it?
I beg You for endurance and may endurance produce maturity.
My spirit knows this is right, that this is my only hope and my last hope. To be joined to You, abiding with You, seeking You to provide for me, is where my peace can be found. Today You have been the song in my heart and I thank you and ask for more!!! I think this quote says it all...
That sinful habit you struggle with daily,
Oh, God, that is my prayer, for my heart, soul, mind, spirit and will to be captivated by who You are and what You have and for me in Christ Jesus. I believe you!!!! I have stepped out in faith. I am filled with hope.
Why am I doing this?
Because most anyone who reads this has "issues" of their own. Issues that hurt the heart, holding it in bondage. Because whatever you are a slave to, that is your master and a very cruel one at that. In fact, if any of us were married to our "habit", if it were a real person, it would certainly be labeled an abusive marriage, to say the least! My habit has literally broken my body, not to mention my heart and mind.
I want to be free from the love of food and the condemnation and the continual trying to get a grip, yet failing.
Earlier this year I began to pray "new prayers". Asking God, not to give me new diet, I don't need one, I know them all, backwards and forwards. But I asked Him to give me a new heart. A heart devoted to Him. A heart devoted to loving Him with all of my heart, not food.
I also asked Him to heal me, to deliver me, to save me from myself.
It has taken a long time. In fact, almost 2 years ago,( you can actually read my post in January 2008) God began to teach me about perseverance. I thought at the time of that post, that He would teach that to me as I dieted, yet once again. But, He actually taught me about endurance, perseverance and running the race that is set before me, through some HUGE trials. They are truths I will be eternally grateful for, in fact, soon those retreats will be loaded to my website, www.Followinghim.com, as a new retreat message called, "Enduring Through Trials", which you can listen to in a few weeks, if you like. And now, much to my surprise and delight, He is teaching me to use those truths to endure through my life long temptation to over eat.
I've decided to share this journey on line because I know I am not alone. So many are crying out for freedom, yet are paralyzed to leave their prison behind. I do not pretend to have all of the answers, but I will share what He teaches me each day. This is about a heart change, not a diet. Yes, I'm having positive results, but my goal is not be skinny, my goal is to be conformed to the image of Christ.
Do you want to know what is motivating me? It isn't becoming a size 10, or going on a cruise, or being thin for my 60th. birthday in 2 1/2 years, but it is to be "complete", as described in James 1:2-4. You are going to love the Greek definition of "complete".
Here it is...are you ready?
Complete means to become who you were intended to be in Christ, so you can serve your destined purpose!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN be who I was intended me to be. Me!! Even at 57!!! I can become who I was intended to be in Christ. It's not too late. And one facet of who I was intended to be in Christ is the fruit of the Spirit...part of which, is "self-control".
I want that. I want to be complete. I want to be all that I was intended to be.
Do you want to join me? If so, then come on along! We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!!! Yes, we can!!!
This first post is a loooooooonnnnnggg one!!! But, there was much on my heart to share. And below I've included a portion of a journal entry from last year and it really "tells all". Perhaps you will find you are like me and want to be free!
January 23, 2009
I’ve walked in bondage to the love of food for longer than I can remember. I’m obsessed with thoughts of it, desire for it, pleasure from it. I expect it to give me joy, happiness, excitement, comfort, peace, medication and it has not. Instead, my love for it has given me pain, self-hatred, unfulfilled desires, vacillating between craving and loathing.
But I have begun a new path into freedom. I’m propelled into this new realm by the Spirit, Who is promising true joy, fulfillment, peace and satisfaction in God, through Jesus Christ. What I have been craving CAN be found…in Christ and Christ alone. He is my Savior, my Friend, my true Hope.
Lord, I’ve been obsessed with getting enough for as long as I can remember. Enough love, enough security, enough promise and it seems to me that I have sought to fulfill that by trying, yet failing, to find “enough” in food. I can control when I get enough, how I get enough and what is enough. But I have only ended up with less, not more and certainly not enough. Enough is never enough.
My heart yearns for more and now I will seek that in Him, the all perfect One. Today Lord, I begin a journey of faith. Faith that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by You, for Your purposes and Your glory. That you have designed my body to work in a certain way and to look a certain way. You know what I need to eat, when I need to eat and how much I need to eat. You know how much I weigh now and how much I should weigh. You alone can restore my mind and heart and body and give my weary soul rest.
I give You myself and ask that you teach me to seek You for all things. Change my heart to seek You for pleasure and joy and comfort. ONLY You can do that, oh Lord. Another diet, counting calories, counting points, eating “right” foods, as opposed to “wrong” foods will not help me.
I am asking You to do more in me and through me, than I could ever ask for or imagine. I would guess that I have between 100 and 80 pounds to lose. My hips and joints hurt. I am exhausted. I am asking you to bring me to “normal”. May I just not think about food. May it have no place in my life, except for nourishment and occasionally celebration. May You be foremost in my thoughts and desires. May I be obsessed with You! Teach me to eat when I’m hungry and to stop when I’m full. I have no idea what full is, but will You enable me to know it and to embrace it?
I beg You for endurance and may endurance produce maturity.
My spirit knows this is right, that this is my only hope and my last hope. To be joined to You, abiding with You, seeking You to provide for me, is where my peace can be found. Today You have been the song in my heart and I thank you and ask for more!!! I think this quote says it all...
That sinful habit you struggle with daily,
that low-grade addiction that keeps you in the throes of guilt and shame,
that inability to walk with consistency in the things you know please God,
ultimately will only be overcome when your heart, soul, mind, spirit, and will are captivated by the majesty, mercy, splendor, beauty, and magnificence of who God is and what He has and will do for you in Jesus.(Sam Storms, "Pleasures Evermore")
Oh, God, that is my prayer, for my heart, soul, mind, spirit and will to be captivated by who You are and what You have and for me in Christ Jesus. I believe you!!!! I have stepped out in faith. I am filled with hope.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Waiting for Callie Faith
I'm waiting.....waiting for the birth of my first great granddaughter. Yes, you read correctly, great granddaughter. And lest you think I'm not old enough...I'm NOT!!!! But at 57, despite my own hopes and dreams for my precious 19 year old granddaughter, Sarah, I WILL be a great grandmother soon, as you can tell from this picture of Sarah and her husband, Todd, taken when they visited us in Colorado recently.
Do you want to know my first reaction when I heard the news last December? No!!! No!!!! Not a third generation of a teen aged mom in our family!!!! This was not my plan. This was not my dream. In fact, I'd often thought this would be my worst nightmare. But, God had other plans......
A dear friend called me the next morning, after I'd heard the news from Sarah, to give me hope from God's Word.
2 Chronicles 20:3 "And Jehoshaphat was afraid and turned his attention to seek the Lord..."
2 Chronicles 20:12 "For we are powerless before this great multitude....but our eyes are on Thee."
2 Chronicles 2:15 "..thus the Lord says to you, 'Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's."
2 Chronicles 2:20 "...put your trust in the Lord your God, and you will be established."
Since that moment, about 8months ago, my heart has indeed been established and my eyes have been set on my God. I realized that I am not here on this earth so that my plans and purposes for my children and grandchildren will be realized, but I am here to bring glory to my God and for His plans and purposes to be fully realized. I'm not here to live happily ever after, but to be holy. I'm not here to build my kingdom, but His. I'm not here to seek my way, but His. And I can do that as a wife, as mother, as a grandmother and yes, even as a way-too-young great grandmother!! And glorify Him I will! I fully intend to point them all to the Light, Jesus Christ, and to say, "Hey, guys, the Light is this way...follow me!!"
Any day now another generation will be born in to our family. Callie Faith's life will begin. Oh, Lord may she seek You with all of her heart and mind and soul and may she find You, because nothing else really matters. I am praying that she will be a woman after God's own heart, whose trust is in her God.
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